more something else

Cape May sunset

My blog is pretty quiet on Sunday nights, especially during 3-day weekends when the Golden Globes are on TV, so I thought maybe I’d sneak this one by without anyone noticing. Then again, a lot of people said nice things to me about my Something Else post, and this turned out to be quite a story. And it’s a story I haven’t told anyone else yet. Literally, no one else knows this, so of course it makes sense to tell the whole world through my blog. (That was sarcasm.) And it’s really interesting to think about this story and consider the power of the internet as a way to reach people, which was one of the ideas behind that post in the first place.

It turns out that even though I haven’t seen my real father since I was a young child, maybe 5 years old, he’s been reading my blog for a while. How do I know this? Because after he read that post, he broke a very long silence and wrote me an email. The message came late one night, so late that I didn’t see it until the next morning when I woke up and checked my phone. I saw my father’s name, read the first line or two of the email, and closed it. It was just too much to handle all at once.

Jersey Shore sunset

Then a day or two later I finally read the whole thing. The email was kind. He explained that my memory was pretty much accurate — an empty apartment in the Bronx where he was going to live after he and my mom split up. And he told me how hard it all was for him and that he never meant to lose touch. Sometimes plans don’t go the way you expect in life. I’ve learned that lesson a few times. I took a few more days before writing him back. It wasn’t an easy email to write, but I know my father appreciated the reply, even if it was a little late, because he wrote me back again and even sent me a photograph of himself, since I hadn’t seen an image of him since he was in his twenties.

I’m note sure what comes next. When something like this happens in life, it takes a lot of emotional energy, maybe more than I can spare right now. But I used to argue with someone about whether it was better to know the truth, even if you might not like it, or better to know nothing at all. It looks like I might have been proven wrong.


9 thoughts on “more something else

  1. Wow. The power of words to mend and heal and reach out like some great collective cosmic consciousness out there. A remarkable story. Best wishes for the reunion you want. You are a great spirit to be open to the possibility.

  2. Pretty amazing what kind of power the internet has. I have some “long lost” relatives out there too and sometimes I wonder if they’ve ever found me on the Internet. Whatever happens, it’s nice that you had this opportunity to reconnect and exchange a few kind words.
    Look forward to reading more if you’re sharing!

    1. i guess it shows you never know who is out there, if you decide to open yourself up to the world. sure, you can check your stats and see that someone in Iceland is checking your blog regularly, but that’s different. thanks for visiting.

  3. How odd (not in a rude way, but in a purely coincidental way). I had the exact experience last year. Apparently my father stalks my blog too, and decided to get my stepmother to break the silence. It was too much of a shock to my system. I tried to live and let live (bygones be bygones) and all that jazz… but I cannot. Unfortunately… he seems like a man with no mission.

    Thanks for sharing, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one going through these momentous occasions in life.

    1. Wow, really? (I didn’t think you were being rude at all.) Maybe we need to start a food-blogger support group? Kidding. But seriously, I guess that’s a risk we take with blogging. I’ve heard of private blogs, but that kind of refutes the point of it. So with a blog, you put a part of yourself out there for the world to see. It can be very intimate even when you don’t realize it, such as by talking about a favorite dish your parent made you, or a special dinner you shared with a loved one, or telling the world how you spent a birthday or other important occasion. And so even if your Facebook page is private and your home phone number is unlisted, your blog leaves you exposed. I really, really appreciate your reply.

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